To-Do List for Surviving the Dubya Years by RICK MORANIS *Stock up on Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. *Learn the names of wrestlers. *Put O'Reilly book on coffee table. *Start collecting ""Dogs Playing Cards'' paintings. *Write letter supporting plan to convert abortion clinics to banjo clinics. *Find out who flies to Dollywood. *Meet with accountant to discuss new Barbecue Tax Credit for purchases over $5,000. *Buy new barbecue. *Start calling children Rachel-Jo and Junior. *Practice using regionally influenced conversational similes till I'm smoother than a desert snake's belly. *Download evolutionary biology syllabus from www.bobjones.edu. *Throw out sun block. *Write letter condemning Clinton plan to give Chappaqua to Palestinians. *Become standoffish with gay friends. *Buy new ergonomically designed cork-handled 6-foot graphite fishing rod with ceramic guides and tri-bearing aluminum reel specially designed to alleviate wrist fatigue (tell Junior to keep reminding me to use other hand for drinking). *Change smoke alarm batteries in bomb shelter. *Misspell Barbara Striseand. *Have mechanic remove catalytic converter from El Camino. *Salvage olive green- and brown-colored clothing by tie-dyeing them camouflage. *See if cowboy boots fit (should be in storage locker with mechanical bull). *Reconsider wearing fur. *Check Ebay for attractive spittoon. *Stop henceforth checking addition on all hotel, restaurant and car rental bills from Florida vacations. *Remember that Elvis is "The King"...not Miles Davis. *Cease and desist all recycling. *Pray.
Again, I add a
------------------ "We're just going to have a lot of work. ... Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." ~ George W. Bush, Deer-In-The-Headlights of the United States
posted
A Case of No Ws: Who, What, Where, Why, When? From the Washington Post
WASHINGTON
Incoming staffers of the Bush White House are apparently victims of a practical joke perpetrated by their predecessors. Bush aides settling into the Old Executive Office Building have discovered that many computer keyboards in their work spaces are missing the W key�as in President Bush's middle initial.
"There are dozens, if not hundreds, of keyboards with these missing keys," a White House aide said Monday, speaking on condition of anonymity. "In some cases the W is marked out, but the most prevalent example is the key being removed. In some cases the W keys have been taped on top of the doorways, which are 12 feet tall."
"My guess is that the White House did not have many reasons to use the letter W over the last couple of years," joked Gore campaign press secretary Chris Lehane when asked for comment. "It's possible they just fell off because of sheer atrophy."
I add yet another
------------------ "We're just going to have a lot of work. ... Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." ~ George W. Bush, Deer-In-The-Headlights of the United States
------------------ "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement. Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere."
posted
Of course, that's theft and willful destruction of government property.
With malice aforethought.
President Bush, to show the ethical direction that the new administration will be taking, should track down the responsible individuals and have them severely punished.
Except that Clinton's probably pardoned them already.
------------------ "My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q
posted
They should all be executed. How dare they? The bastards.
(er ... if the keys were taped to the tops of the doors, how is that theft? And how many people work in the OEOB? How do you know the janitorial staff didn't do it?)
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
posted
Theft is taking something that doesn't belong to you. It doesn't MATTER what you do with it afterwards, whether you tape it to the door or use it to patch the ex-president's grain-worn septum.
And it's still vandalism. If the keys are damaged or broken, they'll have to be replaced. How much will that cost us taxpayers? Not that wasting tax money MATTERS to Democrats...
How true to form, for you to suggest that the people responsible for a malicious act should go unpunished. There should be a hate crime law against such obviously politically-motivated malice.
------------------ "My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited January 23, 2001).]
posted
Yeah, how much DOES it cost to put a key back onto a keyboard?
Touchy, touchy, aren't we?
"Sir, you are under arrest for stealing a keyboard key."
Er ... and IIRC, for it to be "Theft" it must be removed from the property.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited January 23, 2001).]
------------------ "We're just going to have a lot of work. ... Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." ~ George W. Bush, Deer-In-The-Headlights of the United States
"Oh, it didn't REALLY hurt anyone..." "Oh, it's just a LITTLE vandalism... good for the cardiovascular system, you know..." "Oh, you're OVERreacting..."
Mainly because if you get people to ignore the little crimes, it's easier to gloss over the bigger ones.
P.S. Ashcroft's in, let the prosecutions begin! :P
------------------ "My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited January 23, 2001).]
posted
And stay off my damn lawn or I'll shoot ya!! Little bastards.
*grumble*
------------------ "We're just going to have a lot of work. ... Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." ~ George W. Bush, Deer-In-The-Headlights of the United States
As nice as it might be to live in your own little world, until the legal system is so skewed as to send someone who broke a "w" key off a keyboard to prison, I think you're well aware that the MOST anyone would get is a fine ("What are you in for?" "I broke a 'w' key off a keyboard ... you?" "I killed ten men, but I'm being let out early next week because they need to make room for all the vandals.")
Besides, we're talking about a government whose defense department spends $500 on fucking toilet seats -- you wanna prosecute someone for theft? There you go! You're paying taxes out your ass because some government bureacrat wants to pay a couple hundred bucks for a hammer or some other useless pieces of crap that could be bought for much less (but, no -- they've gotta spend all their budget...)
With spending like that, the LEAST the government can do is spring for some new computer keyboards. Unless you're now going to try to convince me that the government is efficient and doesn't buy new monitors, keyboards and mice everytime it buys a new CPU?
Yeah, Ashcroft's in. Now the Republicans can squash the First Ammendment!!! YAY!!!!
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited January 23, 2001).]
posted
Um... exactly which part of the first ammendment are you talking about, praytell? Or are you just making unfounded accusations again?
------------------ Disclaimer: "All references to vices and of the supernatural contained in this game are for entertainment purposes only. _Over_The_Edge_ does not promote satanisim, belief in magic, drug use, violence, sexual deviation, body piercing, cynical attitudes toward the government, freedom of expression, or any other action or belief not condoned by the authorities." - `OverTheEdge'
-was a strong supporter of the Communications Decency Act, an unconsitutional law restricting the first ammendment which was ruled as such by the US Supreme Court.
-supported the "filtering" law recently passed which requires libraries (and others) to censor their computer software. Both the ACLU and the ALA are challenging in court as unconstitutional.
-almost more disturbingly, said the following during a speech as senator:
"Without the cooperation of television networks, however, Congress has no choice but to give the FCC the authority to impose itself on the entertainment industry."
And, IIRC, the Bush/Quayle Admin left a huge mess for the Clinton/Gore people to clean up after Bush lost in '92. This kind of thing is rather typical, but I don't hear First over there demanding that the Bush/Quayle staffers be tossed in Federal Prison for vandalizing government property which required Clinton/Gore staffers to clean up -- a waste of gov't resources, wouldn't you say?
Again, hypocritical BS. When Republicans do something, "it's a harmless joke" ... when Dems do it, "it's Government vandalism and theft and ... and ... lots of other bad stuff!"
You gotta take this stuff with something called a "sense of humor."
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited January 23, 2001).]
quote:Without the cooperation of television networks, however, Congress has no choice but to give the FCC the authority to impose itself on the entertainment industry.
As opposed to exercising that oft voiced conservative mantra of "choice" and switching the old button to off?
Or even employing the much heralded liberal view and actually talk to one another or our children about things seen on tv?
How very un-Republican of Mr. Ashcroft.
------------------ "We're just going to have a lot of work. ... Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." ~ George W. Bush, Deer-In-The-Headlights of the United States
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