posted
Incompetent guard #1: *smacks akb1979* "We've got legions of Judge Dreads right outside the building and your thinking about hot, naked women and rubber duckies?!?! Get a hold of yourself man!"
"But of course I'm thinking about hot, naked women and rubber duckies - well I guess I could skip the rubber duckies. If I'm about to die horribly, I'd rather my last moments be spent with a hot, naked women than with you, you incompetent guard. TAKE THAT!" Proceeds to hit guard repeatedly with kicking shoes before pulling a baseball bat out of his bag and hitting him with that. "And I'd like to see a man who would say no to that beautiful baby in the corner. TAKE THAT, AND THAT AND THIS TOO!"
Finally, the incompetent guard is lying on the floor, unconcious and AKB1979 calms down and moves to the corner to join the babe. "Ah, the job of being slightly mad!"
-------------------- If you cant convince them, confuse them.
posted
Your honor, I request that this witness be held in contempt of court and removed from this courtroom, so that a more productive witness might be called.
With the Honorable MsChris in absentia for the moment, I grant your request. The witness is now being held in contempt and shall be stricken from the court. Bailiff!! Thank you... Of course, MsChris has the final jurisdiction over these matters.
Tahna, you may call your next witness at your discretion.
Regarding the motion that all the insane posts be stricken from the record, I assume you simply want to ignore them. If that is the case, by all means. Those posts have no bearing on these proceedings.
And Ms. McGann, now that you've said that, I'll make sure you have to testify. Hehehehehe...
-------------------- "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."
posted
Erm... I don't think you can hold someone in contempt unless you warn them and tell them what to do to avoid it. Otherwise, the judge could just say "I don't like this witness. Arrest him for contempt."...
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Well, in that case...The witness may step down and I'll reserve the right to call the witness at a later time for further questioning. Oh and consider yourself on probation (so-to-speak). One more screw up and you shall be held in contempt.
Okay, now that I've set the stage for a contempt charge on this witness, it's up to ya'll to make it work.
Next witness!
My laptop is on the blink - hence my lengthy disappearing act. Should have it back soon though.
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
Please allow me time while I speak to the Next Witness.
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
I have no objection to that. If his last witness was any indication, the prosecution needs all the help he can get. I do, however, suggest that the next witness be identified, and that his or her bank accounts be closely monitored.
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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I believe that that would include talking out of turn in a court room after you have been warned to cease being an annoyance, for the express purpose of being difficult. It might also be defined as anything that annoys Her Honor. Either way, I have a feeling that you're screwed. Need a lawyer?
[ June 12, 2001: Message edited by: Omega ]
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
posted
I'm being threatened w/ trumped-up contempt charges. I should think that would give me the right to speak. And the only way I can be sure not to annoy the judge would be to do nothing. But, if I did that, and they asked me more questions, I'd also be annoying her by not answering. Basically, you've put me in a winless situation.
Topic Closed
Anyway, where's this next witness?
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