posted
It's an actual Jubilee created 10 questions! yay!
Well, Hell, I know i've been disappeared as of late, but..... bear with me.
You know the deal. I give you questions that you can take the wrong way, and then give you the freedom to take it there. The most creative response wins.
Bonus points will be awarded for actual correct AND funny answers to two of these questions.
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions?
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic?
3. Who died and left YOU in charge?
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey?
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin*
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ?
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance.
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder?
9. Shaved or au natural?
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you?
------------------ The wheel, it turneth. But the hamster, it hath demised. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend.
Starbuck "Replicate some marmalade, Commander - helm control is toast!"
Member # 153
posted
1. Play "hide the dessert" with an airport customs officer. It'll mabe body cavity searches a lot more fun, cause there's always room for jello!
2. Gee, I dunno... probably my mummy
3. *shoots the Cappsian one in the head at point-blank range* Him. Any more questions?
4. My girlfriend likes stuffing on top of the turkey, but it's so hot it burns her... maybe she should stick to meat and two veg
5. *sings* In the gravy, you can sail around the peas, In the gravy, you can chew your meat with ease, In the gravy, you can watch the stuffing float, In the gravy, come on and pass the gravy boat! (with apologies to The Village People)
6. Beats me, sweetheart... I'm more of a Presleytarian. And as it says in the Book of Elvis, chapter six, verse thirty-nine... It's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and let us pray...
7. As a sadistic experimental biologist and part-time mad scientist, one of my favourite laboratory pastimes is dropping green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid and watching them fizzle away to small shards of bone. Aah, I love the smell of burning flesh in the morning.
8. Her boyfriend/vibrator/lesbian lover's strap-on/fingers... or me if I'm lucky
9. *runs a hand across the chin of the Cappsian corpse he shot six questions back* Au naturel... why, d'you think he'd suit the first-season-TNG-Riker look? *grins evilly and goes to get the Weed Wacker*
10. I can feel it inside of me... growing... AAAAAAAAARGH! *sternum bulges a la Kane in Alien and a baby emerges, showering the forumites with gore. It looks at Jubes and says "Here's Johnny!"*
I wonder if I get the prize for trippiest and most obscene answers - or merely flamed out of existence/banned/executed by CC?
------------------ "Replicate some marmalade, Commander - helm control is toast!"
Saiyanman Benjita
...in 2012. This time, why not the worst?
Member # 122
posted
Really, a ton? You could make a lot of money selling it to a bar. I hear they have a use for it. Or you could make even more money selling it to a San Francisco bar, since they have other uses for it. Or you could just sell it to Charles. I heard he likes that sort of thing. If you do that, you'd have the money, and get to enjoy the goods.
I suppose if you have sex around something long enough, you could find anything scintillating and erotic. Like George Costanza and Pastrami.
Let's see. The 87,726 people in the royal family ahead of me. Looks like India finally got the guts to use the bomb. Revenge is so very, very, sweet.
I like my stuffing shoved up the hole between the turkey's legs. It's supposed to cook better that way.
-Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Elton John: Oooohhh, tonight.... Oh, it's right..... Oooohhh, tonight is right for love, Love Gre-vah.. -Thank you, Elton After the love, comes the darkness instead A demon inside you like a bottomless head Nothing is sacred, everything is a lie Love doesn't last no matter how hard you try Byrnie, burning through your brains, you think you're a live and when you finally find that it's all in vain. Splinters of wood getting forced in your ass (Meat?) Cheeseburger grease getting rubbed on you fast (MEAT!) Your skin's coming off, and your rolling in salt (MEAT!!! NO!!!!) What? -Meatloaf, this song is about Merideth Baxter-Byrnie, and not about splinter wood in your ass. Here have a taco (Oh taco, thanks I needed that) Tonight is right for love, The rain is falling, and Jay Leno is on Let's turn off the lights, turn up the volume and go crazy. I'll touch your body and soul and change the channels with Remote Control, because Tonight is right for love, LOVE GRAVY-y-y-y-y-y... Yeah.
Why would Satanists believe in Satan, if they don't believe in Jesus? I'd think they'd believe Jesus exists, but don't praise nor think of him as a devil (much like Muslims) If you're a satanist, then God would still be God, but since you praise evil, then good is your enemy. However, it's still good, but since PAGAN stands for People Against Goodness And Normalcy, then your Goat leader will serve you uppers and downers, so your morals are all twisted, and you want to throw a snake into a pit of virgins or something. Then Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks will come in and do the German Dance for you, it's happy fun and lalala. Hope you will enjoy my show fiddle-yea, fiddle-yie, yo. I mean, why would you consider Jesus your Devil, since your hero, Satan bet on him to win. And since you're Satanists, do you believe in Mr. Satan, the Greatest Martial Arts Champion of the DBZ World? 'Cause, even though he's a wuss, Goku even said he's the greatest. And if you look at the clouds now, it kinda looks like a scene from the Lion King... It's the circle of life.... Does that make sense to you, or am I just tripping out like a bunch of green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid? I thought there was something in those caffeine pills.
Naked Lady: 4/10ths White Rum 4/10ths Apricot Brandy 2/10ths Lemon Juice Dash Grenadine Shake and pour into glass. However, if you're talking about my naked lady, I'd have to say a baby (damn, that was lame.)
Au natural. I tried shaved once, but you didn't like it. I haven't shaved since.... Oh you mean that? Uhhhh..... None of your business?
Everytime I make that comment, I get hit by my wife (along with the comment that newborns look like little old men, no matter whether male or female). However, if you think about it: It causes you to eat more, but you can still get malnourished. It moves around in your stomach, causing nausea. Sometimes, when it kicks, you can see it (ala ALIEN). When you finally get rid of it, it causes you to bleed for weeks. It makes the bearer sick, and a total bi**h to live with.... Uhh.... What was the question again? Ow, someone, please stop my wife from hitting me, ow!
THESE ANSWERS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT MUCH NOTICE.
------------------ I looked at my son, and said, "My god, he's hung like a bear." "That's the umbillical cord, Mr. Williams."
posted
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions?
Mold it into an elephant and put an animation spell on it. Then terrorize the neighborhood.
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic?
Now we know why the ancient Egyptians made so many mummies...
3. Who died and left YOU in charge?
No-one. Yet...
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey?
I don't like stuffing. Oh, wait. You mean... ah, I get it! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, 'stuffing' he said knowingly...
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin*
Whipped cream I can see. Chocolate syrup, even. But gravy? Why not just bring in a pot roast while your at it? Mmm... Pot roast... Maybe that's not such a bad thing, after all...
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ?
What I really want to see is Satan and Ba'al vs. Yahweh and Yeshua' in a tag-team wrestling match. Or just a fight to the death. And the winners are executed. Then embalmed. With gravy.
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance.
'Green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid' is actually six words. And so much fun on a rainy day when you're stuck indoors.
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder?
Well, if there's nothing in her already, you've got a volunteer...
9. Shaved or au natural?
I shave every day.
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you?
Yes. I've tried to get them out, but they always grow right back.
------------------ "Yeah...apparently Sizer is very hard to say, so they replace it with 'Is Mr. Caeser home?' Sometimes I'll say that no, he has, in fact, passed away. 'My apologies.' 'Oh, that's ok, I'm over it. Brutus is still a wreck though.' Then I hang up." -Simon Sizer on telemarketers, 1-Nov-2000
posted
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions? Organize a homeless orgy. You can feed the poor, AND satisfy they're sexual needs.
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic?
There is a reason why some people go into the funeral business.
3. Who died and left YOU in charge?
Well, no one really died, but after the Cappsian Ascension, someone had to take over.
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey?
I prefer the turkey under my stuffing, or my stuffing under my turkey.
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin*
So he says to me, "do you want to be BAD guy?" And I say, "Yeah baby, I wanna be bad!" I say "sure show some space ponies! I'm making gravy with out the lumps! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ?
I think Satanists have no clue. Gravyists, however, have the right idea.
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentence.
Well, its not really one word... but here goes "When I got to the head of the queue, I let loose a "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid", didn't I?
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder?
me.
9. Shaved or au natural?
Yes. I'm not picky.
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you?
To call it a parasite, would mean that the child would be detrimental to the host mother. So rather, it much like a symbiote. Besides, where else would a unborn child live?
------------------ "Yeah...apparently Sizer is very hard to say, so they replace it with 'Is Mr. Caeser home?' Sometimes I'll say that no, he has, in fact, passed away. 'My apologies.' 'Oh, that's ok, I'm over it. Brutus is still a wreck though.' Then I hang up." -Simon Sizer on telemarketers, 1-Nov-2000
posted
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions? See if your worst enemy has a swimming pool
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic? certainly not the client!
3. Who died and left YOU in charge? Howard Hughes. The Trilateralists all answer to me now
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey? I consider stuffing to be a side dish, therefore it isn�t above or below, silly
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin* If there�s both, I�ll have both. And where the hell are the mashed potatoes?
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ? yes to the first part, no to the second
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentence. �on acid� and �coherent sentence� are mutually exclusive: I used to know many Deadheads
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder? I don�t know. I�ll have to look into that
9. Shaved or au natural? whatever the gal in Question 8 asks for
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you? as a male of this species, I don�t really relate to this question
Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
I didn't get t'play last time..too busy kretling over The One I Want, so...
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions? Prepare a burial mold for Bill Cosby. Serves 130,000.
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic? Yes, but it was about 5000 years ago. ("Oh, Nephthut..the scent of the pharoah's organs are upon you! Come! Ravage the delta of my Nile as if you were Thutmose himSELF...!!")
3. Who died and left YOU in charge? Tiberius Claudius Nero (and who would that make me?)
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey? Well, seeing as how I'm the one doing the stuffing, I find that the turkeys I deal with love it more when they're on top. There's more of an "oomph" to the flavor.
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin* Like the crew slut of Frank Zappa fame, add water & I make my own sauce. I'm told that it's EVER so delicious. Want a take-home sample?
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ? Satanists are actually a group of highly misunderstood & overly dyslexic elves who are in reality Santaists. Jesus is not their devil, but rather Meg & Pierre over at eBay.
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance. (ahem)..."Dud, I am NEVER fucking your sister again! Look at my winky...it lookes like green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid!!........I need a shot."
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder? With any luck, a healthy serving of that very same said self-secreting sauce from #5.
9. Shaved or au natural? It really doesn't matter to me HOW the carrots are served...
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you? Yes, but that's only because Tasha kept bitching that it took her far longer to get drunk because she was now "drinkin' for two!"
------------------ "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much."
posted
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions? Yah, donate it to the Los Angeles Mission
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic? Ask King Tut
3. Who died and left YOU in charge? My mother and I have the will and the power of attorney to prove it
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey? I prefer dark meat with my stuffing on the bottom
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin* I'm more of an alfredo sauce person
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ? Why should I care, I'm gay
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance. The green and oragne-spotted bunnies on acid have better seats than I do for the freaking damn Lakers game!!!
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder? Lot's of moisturizer
9. Shaved or au natural? Which body part?
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you? The only thing that will go inside me needs a rubber shield, so NO
------------------ So why don't we make a little room in my BMW babe Searching for some peace of mind Hey I'll help you find it I do believe that we are practicing the same religion - from the song "Fastlove"
[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited November 08, 2000).]
posted
1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions?
Shove it up yer arse!
2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic?
Someone got the mummy joke already, I'm trying to get something going using the word 'motherfucker' but no joy...
3. Who died and left YOU in charge?
I did. I came back.
4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey?
In the turkey.
5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin*
I have no response to that.
6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ?
Yes and no.
7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance.
Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentence.
8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder?
Me, preferably.
9. Shaved or au natural?
I havent yet polled a sufficient number to establish a statistcially correct answer, but Im leaning toward shaved. Hairy is not nice unless your really drunk.
10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you?
If I was pregnant, there'd be something wrong, so I'd agree.
------------------ "I do prefer the arse, but you can't dismiss the leg. They're joined at the hip, so to speak."
posted
"1. Gee, I have a ton of jello here and I have absolutely no clue what to do with it. Any suggesions?"
Fill a waterbed with it. I'm sure Charles can take it from there.
Or you can scare the living snot out of those aliens on Third Rock...
"2. Can anyone find embalming scintillating and erotic?"
Hey, it's the internet. I'd bet that's one of the tamer things that's out there. I mean, you could probably do a search for people who like having sex with burning goats, and come back with a couple thousand hits...
Not that I've ever searched for that...
"3. Who died and left YOU in charge?"
President Rodger Durling. And I only got to be VP for three minutes, too. Darned 747...
"4. MMmmmmm. Do you like your turkey on top of your stuffing, or your stuffing on top of your turkey?"
Oh, stuff it.
"5. Or are you more of a gravy person? *grin*"
Don't rock the boat.
"6. Do Satanists really believe in Satan, and if they do, do you think Jesus is their "devil" ?"
Why would they? I mean, the one day of the year where their boss moves throughout the world is supposedly Jesus' birthday, isn't it?
Darned dyslexia...
"7. Please use the word "green and orange-spotted bunnies on acid" in a coherent sentance."
"Hahaha! My evil plan is set in motion! Now no one can stop me from --"
*CRASH*
AHH, foiled again. Darn you, Green and Orange Spotted Bunnies on Acid!
"8. Hmmmm... What's in a "naked lady" I wonder?"
Nothing. It wouldn't be lady-like.
"9. Shaved or au natural?"
One of each, please.
"10. Does anyone else think of unborn children as some kind of parasite living inside you?"
You know, we could try to start a new precedent with this. I don't think a forum contest has ever been locked and moved the the flameboard before...
------------------ Francesca: He was born on the tundra, that's where he belongs. You'll kill him if you take him to Toronto. Thatcher: That's a bit drastic, don't you think? Francesca: Look, I've been to Toronto. Trust me, nothing can survive there. - "due South"
[This message has been edited by Omega (edited November 10, 2000).]
posted
1. A ton of Jello? Well, honestly, if I could just get a *much* smaller amount, then its actually quite stimulating in bed ... but for a whole ton, hell, I dunno ... why not just dump it on New Hampshire and good riddance?
2. Emballing? Er ... ::gulp:: ... where's the toilet?
3. The guy who sat in this chair before me ...
4. I don't like Turkey at all. But in answer to the *hidden* question, sometimes I like to be on top ... sometimes I like to be on bottom ...
5. Gravy? Ew, yuck. Whip cream is where its at!
6. Is Jesus Satan? Woah ... gimme some weed and a bible and I'll tell ya'!
7. "I downshifted as I swerved my Jeep to miss the gren and orange-spotted bunnies on acid only to learn, to my horror, that I'd driven THROUGH the acid and it was eating away my tires!!!!" (Hey, you never said it couldn't be a run-on!)
8. 1/2 Vodka, a *pinch* of cinnamon, 1/5 Carmel, 2/5 You REALLY don't want to know! Wait -- is that a buttery nipple? I always get those too confused ...
9. Beards are ticklish. Oh, wait, you mean ... down there? Well, come and look for yourself if you dare!
10. Assuming I ever had an unborn child living inside of me, yes, I might consider it a parasite considering I'm a male!
------------------ Gore/Lieberman 2000 *** "You still don't understand, do you MacLeod? I am the End of Time!" - Kronos
"You're history!" - MacLeod *** "I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." - George "Dubya" Bush
posted
Well, considering it was a reference to a character, and not a specific book in which he appeared...
But you're both right. DoH was great, and I'm a third of the way through EO. Next, R6, TBatD, and then I go back and catch WR, TCotK, and RSR.
Of course, after that I've got about a dozen King Arthur novels to read, "The Drudge Manefesto", "Just Six Numbers", "The Book of God" (apparently, a novelized Bible...), and THEN I think I'll try out the "Left Behind" series...
I'll be back in six months or so.
------------------ Francesca: He was born on the tundra, that's where he belongs. You'll kill him if you take him to Toronto. Thatcher: That's a bit drastic, don't you think? Francesca: Look, I've been to Toronto. Trust me, nothing can survive there. - "due South"
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